英伦拔牙记

不知道是不是真的因为喜欢甜食,我的一颗蛀牙终于在它经历了数年了烂掉了大半以后,于今日下午不幸在Morecambe的Oasis诊所英勇就义。于是我也终于有机会与传说中的英国天价牙医有了一次亲密接触。不过我从此以后终于不用再忍受吃东西吃到牙齿洞里引发发炎的惨状了。

其实我这颗牙齿的问题由来已久。似乎我在国内时候这颗牙齿已经很不正常。只是如当时能够有现在的觉悟的话,可能我需要的仅仅是补牙处理吧。不过跟大多数人相比,我是很幸运的。因为我很少受到牙疼的困扰。即使是我小时候的一颗牙齿最后烂到从嘴里可以直接突出好几块来,我也没有因此而遇到什么牙疼的风险。而这颗牙的问题则不同。在一开始裂开之时,由于其中的牙神经,吃饭偶尔会感觉到痛感。只是随着时间的消逝,症状也就慢慢消失了。而这也造成了我一直对此无视的原因之一。

老毛说过,书读得越多的人越反动。此前我对此一直不太理解。而慢慢地,随着自己从专科读到了博士,我也理解了其背后的含义。其实这句话背后的意思是:随着你知识的增长,你所遇到的问题和困扰其实也会更多。对于我的牙齿,则是在我发现其有可能导致各种严重后果之后才开始对其了有了正式的认识。当然,我母亲依然天天表示她的蛀牙如何如何可以让坦克通过,却从不愿意去医院来个了断。当然,这有其他深层次的原因,远非一个观念差异可以解释。

其实我不愿意正视这颗牙齿的问题还有另一个原因。那就是国内的医疗环境和价格。对于国内医院,我想赞扬的人和表扬的人估计会一样多。而国内现在的所谓医患纠纷和”医闹“恐怕也都已经成了中国特色的问题了。试想,当一个医生的治疗方案耗尽了你医生的财富甚至于拆掉了你的家庭,却并没有让你的病有一点起色的时候, 并且在关键的时候闪烁其辞,推卸责任,你还会把他当成令人尊敬的医生么?曾记得我在研三时候有一次得了疑似甲流,被我兄弟架到医院。即使在我朋友对医生反复说明我们学生没钱的情况下(用的还是方言),我依然因此而付出了一个月的生活费(500人民币)。在这种情况下,我哪还有走进牙科的勇气呢?

对于医生态度的改变则是我来到了英国以后。由于我天生的事儿多,于是就不得不走进了医院。然而,当我真的走进医生办公室时候我傻眼了。因为站在我面前的不再是我印象中的那种如判官一般严肃的面孔,而是一个笑容可掬的老头。这里的医生也不穿白大褂,跟你说话永远是如沐春风,客客气气。但是有一点,千万别跟医生讨论治疗手段和药物,因为,你能得到的永远只有一句话”先生,我是医生,你得听我的“。够牛吧?牛的还不在这里。作为一个在社会主义医院访问了20年的人,当我听说看完病可以直接拍拍屁股走人而不用付钱的时候,我第一反应是冯巩的台词:”今儿见到回头钱了!“

考虑到这一点,我决定在英国期间给我的牙齿来个了断。而当我真正打算注册牙医的时候,我终于遇到了一个跟NHS的免费齐名的特色——排队。英国的牙医主要分为两部分。一部分为NHS的牙医,按我们的话来说算是国营;而另一部分呢,则是私人牙医,按我们的80年代话叫做议价。作为一个穷光蛋学生,我选择的肯定是NHS。尽管网上中文论坛也说私人牙医的服务有多好多好,那依旧无法左右我的选择。毕竟在金钱面前,一切服务啊,质量啊,品质啊都是无力的。

在经历六个月的等待之后,我终于收到了NHS的来信,让我去Morecambe的一家Oasis牙科诊所注册。后来我才知道自己是多么幸运。因为这是一家新开的诊所,同时收纳NHS和私人病人,而其中的设备是全新的。当然,这是后话了。而这却也是一段马拉松的开始。按照信上要求,我拿了信就直奔海边的那家诊所。而等待我的,却是一张可以拿回家填写的表格。另外,我的第一次全面牙齿检查被安排在了一个月以后。然而,当我一个月以后跑到诊所时候却发现,我的预约被取消了,而我却没有收到邮件。于是,我的检查又往后推了一个月。

所谓好事多磨,在金秋九月(那时候已经距离我第一次踏入诊所有两个月)我见到了我的注册医生Asbury太太和她年轻的助手。牙科诊室是一个天蓝色调的大房间,中间放了一个大躺椅。Asbury太太已经笑容可掬地站在了屋子中央,见面就寒暄了几句,让我感觉到了是去人家家里做客。英国的预约制在这里彰显了其好处。诊所里你永远只跟医生打交道,旁边不会有其他人,自然也不会有吵闹。只是这些美丽在我张嘴了以后就被Asbury太太的责怪打破了。

”Jun,你终于想到来看我了。你多久没做牙科检查了?“ Asbury医生问道。当然,话语中还是留着那么一丝期待。

”10多年了吧?我回答。哦,不,快20年了。“ 我一边回答,一边回忆起小时候换牙时候因为长了颗”重牙“而去牙科的情景。那是我在此之前第一次也是唯一一次去牙科。

”什么?20年?好吧,听着,你的牙齿需要清洁,另外,一颗蛀牙得拔掉。天哪,你怎么这么不负责“ 她一边操纵X光,一边嘴里念叨。尽管我知道那颗牙齿早晚如此下场,但在真正面对的时候,我依然无法决定。当然,如前所言,在这里,一切都是医生说了算。于是,在她肯定的眼神下,我预约了手术时间(是的,他们管这个叫手术)。

当我今天再次走入这个房间的时候,Asbury太太已经等在了那里。寒暄几句以后就开始了规定节目。”今天我们要拔掉你的那颗坏牙齿,同时清洁你的牙齿。你有意见么?“一切如写论文般严谨。在得到我的肯定答复以后,助手给我戴上了一副墨镜(不知道干嘛用),并在脸上遮上了几张纸巾。她举起了注射器开始打麻药。她似乎意识到了我的过度紧张,于是叫来助手在旁边开始各种安慰。我的三脚猫英文在此处终于现出了原形。因为除了她的柔声细语,我就听懂了一个词儿”Be good”。好吧,感情是把我当娃娃了。终于在几针以后,我的左半边嘴巴除了她的压痛没有任何感觉了。

不得不说我的医生很会抓紧时间。在等待麻药起效的间隔中,她着手开始了我的牙齿清理工作。所谓的清理工作么,在我看来跟粉刷匠干活的前奏出奇一致。先是用一个小铲子一样的东西慢慢地刮,然后开始清理牙缝。以前老听人说洗牙不舒服,不过看Asbury太太的身手似乎可以忍受。而最后一步呢,则是请出了飞轮大侠。一时间只感觉嘴里飞沙走石,好不热闹(夸张了点)。而每次当我吐出口中的东西的时候,护士总是在一边替我端着杯子,并一手拿着纸巾。站位恰到好处。

而在我漱口的同时,她们也准备好了压轴戏的所有道具。在我再次躺下以后,一把大钳子准确而无误地咬住了我那颗牙齿。由于我的牙齿已经烂掉了一半,牙神经暴露在外,当金属与它亲密接触时,大脑痛觉神经立即高度亢奋。Asbury太太不紧不慢,又给我补了一针麻药。只是1/3流进了我嘴里,害得我嘴里也失去了知觉。在我胡思乱想之时,只觉得一阵痛袭来,在我刚要动的时候就被美女护士给按住了。当我刚送了一口气的时候,她突然拿掉了我脸上的纸巾和带着的墨镜,宣布”好啦,一切都结束啦“。看我一脸茫然,Asbury太太也在笑。她拿过来拔下来的牙齿给我看,指着前端发黑的地方说到,你看,如果烂掉了到了牙根,那就出大问题啦。

美女护士拿给我一张纸,要我签名。我仔细一看,原来是个声明,说明医疗过程没有什么过分举动,一切按照规则进行云云。签完,她又递给我一张小纸条,上面写着一些注意事项和一包小棉花。与国内牙医不同的是,她们不要求我咬住棉花,也不要求我去吃冰激凌。事实证明,到目前为止,好像还真的没有什么大问题。临走前,Asbury太太突然来了句“可别忘了六个月以后的常规检查哦”。

由于我是NHS的病人,所以价格由国家规定。这两项治疗属于NHS的第二档治疗,费用为48英镑。由于我之前检查已经支付了17英镑,这次只要补给剩下部分即可。出门掏出手机,立即看到了伟大领导YTT同志的亲切关心和教导。在一望无际的海边读着这般含情脉脉的文字,其感觉自然不言而喻。

走出诊所即是Morecambe的海边。在海边的沙滩上,孩子们在嬉戏打闹,父母则在闲聊,老人们似乎更愿意坐在海边的长椅上静静地回味人生,一派祥和而安宁。其实这才是典型的英伦小镇。(全文完)

 

A Short Visit to Morecambe

It has been quite a long time since my last writing in English. It is quite hard to investigate the reason why, which can be my confidence on writing in English, or just a strong willing to maintain my Chinese writing capability. However, the recent accomplishment of my first formal report to my supervisors after my coming for nearly 12 months brought me some courage of writing this post in English again.

Though I have heard about Morecambe quite soon when coming here, I have not gotten an excellent opportunity of reaching there. In my mind, it is always quite a far place to go, especially when you are looking forward the travelling guide from Lancaster to Morecambe. But, once you have done that like me yesterday under the help of a local bus, you would find, map scaling really matters!

Morecambe is quite a beautiful and quite town by the sea, and unlike Lancaster, the first feeling of mine, is that I am really standing in U.K now! There is quite few foreigners like me, but you can hear about very pure British English everywhere. There is no Indian English, Chinglish and other strange accents any more. What it belongs, or it can present, is its quite and peaceful living style.

This is a photo that is taken near the Queen Victoria Hospital, my first destination for the terrible teeth in my mouth, and where I made the largest deal that day (It costs me 17 pounds for a 20-minute consultation). The sunshine is so warm that it help reduces the cliff feeling from the wind. However, it lasts only thirty minutes.

Not sure whether it is the carrying with a camera that I am regarded as a tourist, an old lady kindly take me to the ‘town centre’, saying that I would be able to take some shopping there. After knowing I am indeed a student from Lancaster, she’s gotten smiled, saying I should enjoy some different life in Morecambe.

High street at Morecambe

It is really hard to say where the difference is between a high street in Lancaster and here in Morecambe since their similarity on quietness. The only difference however, I could find, is the increased probability of coming across people that can speak very good English. If possible, I would like to revisit here in weekend to see how the life goes.

High street at Morecambe

Very firstly impression, I regarded it as a church, but soon I find it is in fact Barclay! Thanks to the Nikon 16-85, I would take such a photo with very close distance but with acceptable distortion.

A happy gent at the beach

Turning out the high street, there is an entrance to the beach nearby. As the old lady said, I really come to Morecambe with a wrong day. The wind blows so heavily that I wonder whether I would be taken into the sea and feed the fishes! This gent is found at the entrance, welcoming people all around the beach. But how long has he been here then?

A lovely piegon

A very interesting staff here you can see, not only in Morecambe, but also in Lancaster and Manchester, that the pigeons never feel frightened when you get close. How can you image if I am telling you that this photo above is taken with a only 16-85 lens? I wonder in most places in China, you would not have any opportunity for such a shot with a lens less than 200 mm and a reliable tripod. Here is another pigeon who is staring at me.

Another pegion

Walking along the beach is romantic, which most people would agree. However, such conclusion is only valid in a fine weather. In such a windy weather, it is really a terrible experience. However, you got good opportunities for a shot since nearly no one there!

A path to the heaven

A very good condition of taking a photo in such a weather is quite unique and interesting. Thanks to my new cheap Nikon which offers better resolution than my previous Powershot, the image is quite clear in fact. And the cloudy weather prevent the image from the disturbing of too much sunshine and the reflection from the water. The only problem is, however, the sea is becoming yellow but not blue anymore~

Shore

There is a large viewing platform near a harbour that you can walk into the very distant place to enjoy the wind. It is quite safe with fence protection and the height between the sea surface and that platform should be safe enough when a high tide happens.

Viewing platform

Walking through the platform, I suddenly find some guys fishing there. I really don’t know if such a bad weather would be good for fishing. And sitting there in a chair is really not interesting. It is too cool~

Fishing in the wind

Following is a photo from the place they are fishing. It is the end to the platform, where you got the feeling of being involved in the sea. Unlike the beach at Honolulu where you smell the commercials, here what you get is only the truth of life.

The sea

Comparing to that, I am more interested in the sight at the beach. Since it is only the place that you can enjoy both the nature and our living space. It is just like standing at the border, a border that distinguishes the human being and nature.

The quiietness
The beach
To the end

If conditioned and having my own car and driving license in hand, I would not reject of living in Morecambe. Comparing to Lancaster, Morecambe is really a better place for living. If saying there is small difference between the largest cities in China and UK, the development of urban areas like Morecambe should be the largest difference between UK, an old developed country, and China, which is still regarded as a big fool and ‘new money’ to the West.

Street by the beach
European style
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