Career and Romance: A Puzzle?

Romance It can hardly be denied that romance is a strange thing. Unlike the regular events that can easily be controlled in certain routines, the romance can hardly be controlled rationally. More likely, the development of the process for a couple falling in love seems to be a random walk, no matter you are originally determined or not. One may not be able to fully understand this unless you own the experience. It is a kind of experience that involves true loving, demands and even sex, any tiny error made in such process can mean influencing consequence in future. And, under most occasions, it is highly related to the career, another key aspect of human lives.

Loving stories can be easily found in some journals and newspaper when you pick up one randomly in a school library. The stories are frequently similar though figures in the stories vary. The conflict between the career and the romance is typically a permanent topic. For comedy, the couples get recognized occasionally and work together for future, like housing, business, etc. The ending of such story is always quite pleasant and sometimes romantic, that both romance and career are of harvest. While for such topics, tragedy is more common to see.  Such story often starts from a couple being like peas and carrots, and then face a single choice for romance and career. Then difference value concept between the man and ladies are exhibited: career is often preferred by the men and romance by the ladies.

In fact, the latter style of choice is more common to see, which is regarded as reconciling. For any parties that are participated in a game called romance, you can hardly expect great outcome without sufficient income, which, in this game, is regarded as a sacrifice in either romance or career. Unlike many other choices that the alternative choice can easily be explained for deny, this choice is a puzzle, because preference to any party in this choice for romance/career are both adequately rational. For preference on romance, it is comprehensive, since the pleasant experience rendered from this can hardly be substituted, and meanwhile, it is a necessarily preliminary step for coming marriage, which is of great demands for majority. In other hand, preference on career is also a wise choice. Career can mean individual success in numerous realms of life, like great profit from running a business, obtaining a demanded position etc. Considering the traditional responsibility for a man that should support the whole families, including the parents, wife and offspring, the success on career is one of the most effective resolution for such purpose. That’s why majority of men are holding their preference towards the career.

Such choice can be more difficult for graduates, no matter you are graduating from a college or graduate school.  Difference on cities that a couple works and residents can directly lead to failure of their romance. Comparing to the virtual basis on their romance, which is typical nominated as love, the survival is more essential. The romance can only come into practice when the survival is not a question anymore, which is regarded as grounded. Never try to believe in your determination. Such determination is only valid when the environmental settings are unchanged, which is and is only an assumption. Under most occasions, we have taking too much time and energy to fit for such changes, thus career and romance can hardly be taken into account simultaneously.

And making such decision is not an easy job. A preliminary and necessary step for a decision-maker is to think over. Such rule is consistent to the choice on career and romance as well. For a person who is of great preference on career, his/her romance would be regarded as a kind of sacrifice, or say opportunity cost in economic terms, or vice versa. To make it, everyone must be aware of his advantages and disadvantages, which kind of living they are willing to lead to, and basically, a full perspective of the near future.

I don’t know who such choice would be like in a US setting, but the framework for both understanding and interpreting in this post is of Asia styles. Wise and correct choices are typically regarded as precious, especially one of such importance that fully decides his/her future life. An optimized contract for both career and romance would be fully appreciated. But meanwhile, whether such solution exists is still under questions!

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