Quite a long time I denied all the requests from my heart of writing a post in English, the reason can be quite simple. The failure on GRE directly abandoned me the American dream; what’s more, it deeply hurts my passion to my future life in years. In the past days, weeks and months, again and again, I have tried to imagine my life, a big house, a tenured position. But now, everything is gone. And, my purpose of learning this language has become invalid as well. Even till now, I don’t think the English can be useful for my graduate study in China, since most PhD candidates in the major of accounting are without good competence of foreign language, and such faults are also retained by most professors as well. in contrary, such competence may cause envy from colleague sometimes.
I can hardly remember when I devote myself to the study of this language. I admit that I never met the top level, since I never entered a top primary school, middle school, college, and the graduate school. But undoubtedly the American dream works. During the high school, I started to read some English newspapers, listening to the VOA News, and to chat with my English teachers and friends in English. Obviously such activities help me build a solid foundation, which is still beneficial today. (Just imagine how many students are still fighting for oral and listening sections).
The failure of the college entrance directly abandoned my improvement of English. The teachers for students of the technical school are that poor, that the memory of the English courses at that time is only the tricks, like the faults of the pronunciation, verbal and grammars from the teacher. And CET-4 and 6 are passed respectively, though the scores were not very high, but identical to my competence. Frankly, there is little improvement on my English during the four year study in college.
A great improvement of English competence comes to me when I entered the graduate school. For the research purpose, I have to read many papers from top journals written English. Obviously, good competence on reading formed since high school brings me great benefit. Even till today, I am still quite pride that very few graduate students around can take a faster speed than my reading. (A younger student used to acknowledge her greater amount of reading, while after some talking; it is found she only read the abstract and conclusion). And what’s more, the failure of GRE can not only mean failure, in fact, I learned how to write in a formal way. Without such training, I don’t think I can write an English paper and present in Hawaii.
Anyway, the GRE is failed, and my American dream is breaking down. With the concern of my willing to be a research, professor or so, PhD is an optimized choice still, since its honored acceptance here in China. I will fight for some top universities in China, no other school will be considered since its limitation on marketplace. I don’t want to be a loser when graduated in three or four years.
Thanks for my brother; it is your help and encouragement that bring me confidence and broadened horizon;
Thanks for my parents; it is your help and support on my feeding up that I have the opportunity to make these attempts, though they are not successful;
Thanks for my uncle and aunt; it is your kind suggestion that prevent me from making wrong decisions;
Thanks for my uncle Yang yang, to be specific; you give me too much, courage, confidence, horizon and the meaning of a human being;
And thanks for Mr. Zhou and Ms. Luo; it is your encouragement during my early stages that I can obtain all these capabilities;
As a final, thanks for Peng and my present professor, though we have only a connection for less than three years, your determination and encouragement help I learn to be a rookie researcher. I am convinced what you taught me can be beneficial when doing independent research in future.