PhD – Page 2 – Junjun's Home

Saying Goodbye With Tears

It is in fact quite curious, that I have not made my tears dropped since the failure of my college entrance exams. Obviously, the failure that time is dramatically beating to me, that I can even not forget the ache in my heart when hearing the score and ranking from the telephone. It was quite a harsh time, that I was deeply, without any exceptions, dropped into the trap of depression. There were only thunder and storm, but not the sunshine and gentle wind in heart.

What is the greatest depression?

For many days I have been asserted of fully experienced on bad days. I didn’t feel much disappointed when I had to give up my hope of applying for the graduate school of Rennin University of China, I also feel okay when I was suffering from the beating of the GRE performance, and thus I would have to, again, drop my hope of studying in US. And even when I heard about the death of my grandma, who brought me up during the whole childhood, I recovered myself in two weeks. However, I don’t know for how many days I would make myself recovered this time.

In my friends’ eyes, I am, without any doubt, an ambitious man, who is willing to devote himself to the ideal world. It is in fact hard to tell, whether the determination is doing its good in my life, even though it is fully encouraged by different levels of educations, ranging from kindergarten to PhD program. Admittedly, determination can teach you quite a lot. With its help, you can learn more, read more and publish more as well as better off. However, over devoting in a specific work, a direct definition of determination, can also ask for your payment. What would you pay for that? It is, under most occasions, love!
Can nature be contradicted?

Young man, if you are considering of rejecting a piece of love, and meanwhile, you are lucky enough reading this post, I would try to persuade you of accepting it. Rejecting such staff can be much more difficult than anything else, especially when it contradicts your psychological indication. I started to think about taking my PhD study overseas from the second year, when participating my first-time international conference and talked to some faculties there, though at that time, I was still quite unaware of what I was willing to do and what I was interested in. I am always quite a man that considers reality as fully prioritized, and never believe in romance. For me, any romance that was built on the assumption that one party is willing to go overseas can be tricky and thus lead to unpleasant consequence. It is this good belief, though I cannot tell whether it is good or not indeed, helped me delayed the love.

But things are always holding the preference of contradiction. Just count how many unexpected issues has you been come across? Tens? Hundreds? Or even more? Though rejection is apparently a preferred answer following my logics that I discussed above, it failed on the determination from the other party. It is the first time that I learned that as an ordinary man, I should never expect controlling too much. Being over confident on your controlling, under some occasions, can cause disaster. If I would be able to make a new choice for all these I have experienced, I would give it up. Taking it can, undoubtedly, bring you good feeling for those honey days. It can, however, make you good depression when reaching its end of life.
Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye with tears, the topic of this article, indicates the ending of this experience, that used to bring me days with sunshine, is now sounds like thunder and storm. Establish any promise in this period, though seems pleasant, is actually meaningless. For people that you are, or used to love, pray for her honey in future. Staying together or not, comparing to this fundamental assumption, is far less concrete.

So guess the hidden head for this post? Well, you are quite right. It is not a post for you, but for someone else. Any other hidden head? Yeah, you are quite patient and cautious. This paper is written by a man whose native language is not English!

The Result of SYSU PhD Entrance Exams Reveals

Eventually the entry line for the PhD program of Sun Yat-sen University has been revealed today with 2 days earlier than its estimation, as is published on the web. Thanks to the suggestions from Jianguo, a younger student following my professor, otherwise I shall miss this notice, but as foolish as waiting for the result until 22nd. The result is acceptable, that I am able to participate the second run of the exams, though whether I shall be admitted is still of mystery.

The score, unlikely the line published today, has been known much earlier. Though the score seems to be not that bad, there is no certain information on whether this is adequate. That’s why I didn’t push the score out directly when I got that two weeks, but only announcing it on my twitter with quite limited audience. The line published today, however, proves my concern. As I anticipated earlier, the sub-lines for each score, including the test of English language and two professional courses, should be around 50-55, with the basis of 100 points in total. While the formal version, on the other hand, requires a high score on both English and professional courses. For the majors in management school, including mine, want a score no lower than 55 for English and 60 for the rest courses.

Following is a picture of my result. To protect the privacy, both my name and ID number are covered. I don’t know if it is the fortune that I achieved the score that is, instead of much higher than, just equivalent to the requirement. it reminds me of the occurrence 3 years ago when I was still a student of Nanjing Normal University, waiting for the information from Zhongnan University of Economics and Law, my present school, the result of postgraduate entrances. Now both my mood and situation are surprisingly similar. The only difference is that I am not that young any more, and I start to consider more.

Now that the result for the first run is acceptable, I don’t know how it would be for my second run. Interview with professors want higher requirement of knowledge that I master, and better understanding of research, both classical and contemporary ones. For the next two weeks, I shall take a review of recent research in China, focusing on the works produced by the faculties in SYSU, but also including some important works from others. It would be a great job, and what I am still under consideration is that, whether I shall read some classical papers, like Coase (1938, 1950), Alchian (1957), Jesnsen and Meckling (1976, 1985) etc. They definitely formed the foundation of contemporary research, especially those on corporate finance.

I don’t think much can be done in two weeks. I suppose the only thing to do for me is to build up sufficient confidence, and take as much preparation as possible. Guys, wish me succeed!

The Past Month: A Miscellaneous Comment

我的父母常说一句话“你看这个人做事情，就跟江南的黄梅天一样，不靠谱”。由此可见江南的黄梅天有多么的恶心了。然后，今年，我估计不仅仅是江南了，全国的气候都非常不正常了。以至于我母亲跟父亲都在笑言，活了半辈子，如此四月底照样可以把羽绒服穿在身上，实在是非常难得的天气了。说实话，我对这种天气是无语了。唯一的庆幸是这样的鬼天气我在家里，没有在武汉。我估计财大那破宿舍里这种天气是会让我很不爽的了。尽管我住在7楼，阳光理应比较灿烂。

有时候，胡说八道也需要理由

需要说明的是，这篇博文并没有一个很明确的主题。而是属于那种“脚踩西瓜皮，滑倒哪里算哪里”的东西。倘若这是高考作文，那这将铁定是被语文老师当街示众的大作。上过学的人都应该知道那种“意散形更散”的文章的魄力。其实说真的，我是不太赞同可能吧的观点，即写博客都要有一个核心，并且把自己作为媒体来写。说真的，博客只是一个个人宣泄的平台。而若要每篇文章都去金雕细琢，耗时耗力，恐有不务正业之嫌。要知道，博客毕竟是一个展示自我，尽情挥霍的舞台。而对于精雕细琢的东西，何不拿去发表？这样才会有更多的读者群，也才有更好的版权保护，也才能更好的普渡“众神”嘛。

诚然，这种事情也没有一个统一的说法。毕竟嘛，我是一个介于文科和理科之间的夹生饭。我做的是偏文科的研究，却有着理工类学生的爱好。这就注定了我的博客会成为一锅“珍珠翡翠白玉汤”。我喜欢在博客上写乱七八糟的东西，从恋爱到计算机，从计算机到会计，从会计到资本市场。只要是我熟悉的，我喜欢的，我了解的，我愿意废话的，我都会写几句。这样，这些或幼稚、或浅薄、或偏激、或专业的文章构成了我的博客。不得不说，正是这些天来在博客上的胡说八道锻炼了我的思维，以至于我在对付Issue（GRE作文的一种，旨在考察应试者的观点和逻辑）的时候可以做到从容不迫。但是，如果真的是有技术，比如Bill，比如他的朋友Solrex的博客，那我是由衷的佩服。毕竟作为计算机行业的人，他们应该做的就是去弘扬技术，而不是去体现价值观。价值观是御用文人干的活儿。别抢人饭碗嘛。
懒得更新博客更需要借口

写本博客之前，我回望了下自己的博客。突然发现，我上一篇文章发表于3月23日。距今已经快有一个月了。不出意外的话，这次的时间间隔应该是我开独立博客以来时间间隔最长的一次了。在我保持博客静默的一个月时间里，我穿越了英语学习的时代。尽管说雅思成绩还不知道。但是从报名到考试才20来天的时间里去准备一个类似于雅思的高级别英语考试，说真的，不得不说是一个疯狂的举动。没办法，谁让哥们想着人家兜里的英镑呢。既然要人家给掏钱，那就只有乖乖的听话了。本来一直以为新托福因为其名字为“iBT”而彰显了其变态的本性而应稳居天下第一变态英语考试，考完雅思我才发现，“闷骚型”永远比“花枝招展”的恐怖。雅思的变态实在是令人有点发指。好在结果没出来，希望犹存。俗话说“No news is good news "嘛。
考试不好，考题太难是永恒的理由

再来说说中大的那个变态的考试。在等待了数个礼拜之后，成绩终于揭晓了。不知道为什么中大这次改卷会弄得如此之慢。要知道之前的那个周末，北大连博士的复试都结束了。哎。不过考试的成绩不算太坏，只是分数线还没揭晓。希望可以过线吧。说真的，我很喜欢中大的风光，也很喜欢他们的研究氛围。最后上一张中大的图片，上网找的。不过可惜的是，我同战壕并肩作战的战友却不惜落败。不过话说，当一个考试的难度已经变态到人神共愤的地步，那他就不是考试了，而是变成了一群人，在一个固定的时间，一个固定的场所开始自虐。更郁闷的是，包括我和我朋友在内的大多数人，却还乐此不疲。不知道这是不是我自己的悲哀了。
为什么那么多人“求自虐”？

由于最近是考研的录取和调剂时段，而下一批打算接受考研或者考博自虐行为的人也开始了准备。于是乎，作为某不太知名高校的校友，我总是接到一些师弟师妹的电话。问题很简单，无非就是是否考研啊，或者说如何准备云云。如果说后者的问题还是一种基于过来人经验的考虑的话，那前者的提问水准就有待商榷了。作为一个不太出名的学校的领导，鼓动学生去努力积极的考研本来也无可厚非。毕竟对他们而言，能够鲤鱼跳龙门进入一个好的研究生院是个不错的选择。而我无形之中似乎也成了他们的所谓的榜样。但是他们又何时真的去想过他们真的适合这么干么？要知道，我固然是这个学校出去的，但我的专业课教育却是在一个本一学校接受的。更重要的是，他们真的想过考研出来做什么吗？我很庆幸我遇到了一个不错的硕导。但是在当今这个“水导年年有，今年特别多”的大环境下，遇到一个好的导师的难度绝对不亚于找到一个好媳妇！

结束语：话说世间总是透着太多无奈。就如我遇到奖学金杯具时候我老板劝慰我所言：“世间并不如你想的那么美好，但是它有着自己的相对公平和均衡的运作机制”。作为一个大博弈的参与方，我们在当前，似乎做的，只能是遵守游戏规则吧。这篇博文应该是我写过的最无厘头的东西了。突然发现，写无厘头的东西感觉也是不错的呢。

PhD Entrance Exams at SYSU: A Conclusion

The PhD entrance exams for Sun Yat-sen University have eventually been accomplished, no matter how the result would be. The questions appeared on the subject of corporate are a bit easier, but due to a long trip from Guangzhou to Suzhou, I have mostly forgotten them. But there is one lesson that you should take if you are to be a player of such exams in 2011 or later. That is, paying adequate attention on econometrics, not only its usage, but also its fundamental knowledge.

The questions that I came across at the exams of accounting theory may indicate its potential failure. The questions this year are focusing much on auditing and financial accounting. Unlike the questions that you can find in previous years, the questions this year are focusing more on policies, accounting standard settings, and, most of them are following the framework of narrative research, rather than the positive ones which are of great popularity recently.

Anyway, quite a number of questions are focusing on academic thoughts, which are highly regarded by both professors and graduate students nowadays, especially those working in top universities of China. Take an analytical question in finance for example. A paragraph is presented, which is introducing a new policy published in 2008, that mostly listed firms in China are required to announce the details of their dividend plans. The question is that you are invited to make a brief analysis on why it comes out, its influence of capital markets, as well as the potential research opportunity it may involve. Such questions would, undoubtedly, a disaster to those who are not accustomed to develop their independent thinking.

However, there is one thing that would be beneficial for most takers of the exams, no matter whether they are admitted eventually or not. The lesson is that the questions showed us the correct way that a researcher should probably work like. Focusing and take a good think on the important events on the capital markets should be a good way to find research opportunities, as is shown on the exam paper. Trying to use the existing theory and research to explain, or predict what is happening and is to happen, though not that correct and accurate, would be beneficial for you to know the way of academic considerations. Once the resource of research is ensured, and the academic thoughts are formed, doing some top-level researches would not be far except for some professional training on methodology and tools.

There has been a debate in the academic world, especially in the field of economics and something related that intuition or methodology, which is more important? In my opinion, neither should be abandoned. So also pay sufficient attention on econometrics. What you want to know is not only how to read the result appeared on the computer screen, but the concept of them, like the way how the estimate produced, the steps that somewhat test aligned, and what their potential assumptions are likely to be. If you are still feeling frightened of reading a textbook with mathematics, try to get used to that from today!

I don’t know how my exams would be. In fact, a summary of the exams has been required for my potential supervisor, and I am concerning how to make it with sufficient objectivity and unbiased. Anyway, I do learn a lot from this process.

PS: It is unlikely to make a revision before you take the PhD entrance exams at SYSU, especially in the field of accounting. What you have learned and mastered during the daily research would work!

PhD Entrance Exams at SYSU: Accounting

今天考完了第一天的考试。说实话，中山大学真的很漂亮，绿化做得很好。北门外的珠江也很漂亮。不过广州这两天的天气实在是不好。非常的潮湿。尽管对于一个像我这样在南方生活了二十多年的土著而言，此种潮湿天气并不是什么大问题，但是还是让我些许不爽。不过相比较武汉而言，广州让我最喜欢的一点是这里的吃食非常好，非常符合我的口味。我现在终于知道我老板和我姐都会抱怨广州的菜没有味道了。哈哈。

早上的英语考试，说实话没有太强的感觉。毕竟最近英语看得比较多，以至于看到考卷都没有了感觉。但是这种感觉也绝对不是好事儿，因为你会忘记自己是在考试和做题目，然后就会不知不觉的看得飞快，以至于我在不到一个小时时间里就搞定了除了作文外的所有题目，但是正确率却不敢保证。以至于后来的作文我磨磨蹭蹭的写了一个来小时，写了400来个字，才算对得起重大给的我三个小时的考试时间了。总体来说，英语考试不算太难，应该比考研英语略容易。不过考场上还是有不少同志没有做完的。

下午的会计理论考试才是真的郁闷了。这个题目跟往年相比，差异巨大。我以为中大向来不入俗套，没想到他今年也狠狠“低俗”了一把，没办法，哥们认栽。考虑到有很多人会跟我一样在网上搜索历年考题，我就在这里贴出来，供明年的小弟弟小妹妹们参考吧。

简答
1. 就“系统免疫”论谈谈你的看法
2. IASB的报告体系的逻辑关系，会给你一张图
3. 金融工具准则的“顺周期效应”，谈谈看法
4. 市净率和市盈率分别是什么？他们提供怎么样的信息？
两个讨论题
1. 2008-2009年度中国资本市场重大事件列出并写出研究机会、
2. 写审计质量的文献综述。
研究设计题

结论：中山大学的题目的确不好准备。要考好，或者自己有关系事先弄到题目（这个不是没可能～），或者够牛（如此牛何必留在中大？），再或者，跟我一样，泰然处之！

PS：中大风景美，人更美！

Some Words for The Chinese New Year of 2010

Time has been passed over the 12:00 point and now it is the last day of the 2009 and we are welcoming the first day of the new year, according to the traditional calendar of China. Just like the westerners are caring much on the Christmas and New Year’s day, that the Chinese have paid adequate attention to this festival for thousands of years. However, the Chinese New Year is a bit different from the others. More precisely, I find no feeling that I am welcoming an important festival. Instead, I have received some unexpected gifts for my coming new year.

The poor weather these days

Such feeling may be partially due to the poor weather that most regions in southern China are suffering. It is curious that the weather of this winter is so abnormal that you can hardly judge whether you are living in spring or winter. The temperature of Suzhou yesterday has been raised to 17 degrees while it drops to 3 today. It is just like that we are drawn back from the spring to winter. So, definitely, it is very hard to keep a good mood in humid days. I am really quite interested in how the Britain overcome such influence from the weather to their moods. You should know that such humid weather is quite normal in England.
Concerns on admission to graduate schools

The application of graduate schools is also making me feel increasingly anxious. Anyway, a lesson that I learned in this process is quite similar to what Kuan told me before. That is, never try the thing before you are fully prepared and understood. The weakened economic conditions around the world is really a bad news for my application. A special funding for overseas research student has been abandoned. And there is no news now for the schools in Asia.Frankly, comparing to the different systems, for PhD programs in business school. The schools in US and Asia are definitely choices. I can hardly understand why there is no requirement for publications to the PhD students in UK and Australia. While, for candidates, it is quite a good news, since they won’t have to lead a life that is fully composed with paper writing, and they may thus have a excuse to stop reading papers. While, when graduated, I am quite worried about the employment of these students. Concerning the immigrants policy in UK, most graduates may have to come back to China. However, a PhD without papers of high quality may have to face a nightmare when applying for a teaching position.
Dissertation

The dissertation is also a terrible experience for me. Though with the skills that I have mastered in the past two years, working as a research assistant, the accomplishment of such a dissertation would not be a problem, it is becoming a problem as well. The most definite reason for this unfortunate is my timing arrangement as well as the concerns on the dissertation itself. Frankly speaking, timing is really a great problem for me, reading books, papers at the same time has been a great job, I have to spare some more time for my writing.The paper is also encountering its own difficulty. Following my research interest in the past few years, the topic of my dissertation is also about the timing patterns of the annual reports. However, to construct a paper with recognized quality, solid foundation on theory and hypothesis development is quite essential, as I have suggested to my colleagues. However, with the theory that I have mastered, considering the behavior via the timing pattern is a too superficial decision that it fails to dig into the nature of contemporary research. Obviously, the essential factor that are affecting the investors’ protection should be the earning information, while the timing patterns is only a behavior that is influenced by the similar root.
My Wish for the New Year

Anyway, things have to be dealt with regularly no matter how boring and difficult they are. Following the tradition of the Chinese New Year that I should establish my own wish for the coming year, I do wish I can be admitted to a recognized graduate school, or alternatively, be offered an accepted industrial position with average salary that I can consider my house compensation and marriage. This is of great priority.

Some Words For My Application: A Review

近阶段总是在忙活博士入学考试的报名和海外研究生院的申请工作。说实话，GRE的考试失利还是给我造成了不小的心理阴影。这不得不让我相信我家乡的谚语——“不听老人言，吃亏在眼前”。现在想来，可能是我当时也过于inherent了，Kuan的说法并没有错，GRE的Second Attempt的确是需要Confidence的，而且也是Consequenced的。无奈，我是个学会计的学生，成本-效益原则已经深深映入了我的脑海。如果说把托福考试和GRE考试仅仅当作学习英语的学费，似乎有点心有不甘。毕竟，作为学费，这个价格似乎有点高。更何况，对我这个穷光蛋而言。

其实真的申请国外学校的时候才会发现：对一个真的想出国的人而言，读经济管理类专业绝对是个大大的“杯具”。尽管说在我们英明的政府和党的领导下，我国的经济还是大有起色。但是在国际视野的比较下，我们还真是个不折不扣的发展中国家。而这样的身份则是直接造就了申请上的杯具。从寄托和太傻这两个国内最大的留学版块上我们就可以看到，最容易出国的专业基本都是理工专业。而商学院出国留学的人则是少之又少（注意：这里我不包括自己付学费）。相比较理工类专业出国的相对泛大众化，商学院的Overseas PhD项目似乎更像是精英的游戏。

从Chasedream，一个比较大的商学院论坛来看，直接从国内学校来申请美国商学院PhD的Offshore Application的成功率是非常低的，尤其是申请一些顶级学校，如MIT的Sloan，Havard Business School，UCLA，Rochester等。而拒绝大陆中国学生的申请原因主要集中于两点：

语言能力：相对于Science和Engineering的学生而言，商学院对申请者的英语要求高得多。从事业发展角度来说，商学院毕业生需要更多的去进行各种商业谈判和商务写作；从学术来说，商学院的论文往往都会有大段的描述性文字来“讲故事”。试想，没有足够好的英文怎么行呢？而大部分国内学校的毕业生的英文水平的确也没法达到这个要求（除了北清的牛人）。
研究背景：如果说英文水平是可以通过努力提高的话，那Research Background就更加要命了。由于众所周知的原因，国内商学院的Faulty们的论文质量普遍难以达到国际水平。即使国内顶级学校的几个海归faculty，他们的论文也多发表在B类期刊，相当于欧美博士生的水准。试想基于如此的Faculty水平，如何能指望学生作出国际水平的研究呢？以至于我有次跟Bill开玩笑说，如果可以借给我一篇SCI的论文，不用多大的IF，我就能在学院斜着走～～。

我的猜想是，可能就是基于上述原因，才导致了很多人的曲线救国。比如北大的Heng Yue，就是在HKUST读的MPhil，然后去Purdue读了PhD。而同样北大的Guohua Jiang也是在HK读了硕士以后去Hass读了PhD。香港中文大学的年轻副教授Cong Wang则是在新加坡国立大学读了硕士，然后在美国完成了博士学位。当然，也有例外，比如Wei Luo，其实还是我校友，在中南财大毕业后去了Pittsburg。

考虑到了我的比较soft的背景，以及不太对得起观众的G和T，我就没有申请美国。毕竟我可不想拿着几百美金的申请费去打水漂。要打水漂，找水塘边的瓦片就Okay。作为心理安慰，我横扫了香港的几所学校。毕竟香港的申请费相对便宜。甚至于比国内的学校报考费还便宜。例如HKU，HKUST，CUHK的申请费都是150港币，CityU是一百港币。而国内的，比如我报的中山大学，我师妹报的北大分别都是200元RMB。上财的报名费更是高达250元。最好的还是新加坡的南洋理工，PhD似乎并不需要支付申请费，只需要把Package寄过去就可以。

相比较亚洲和美国的学校，英联邦国家和欧洲的博士项目则要直接的多。比如澳洲和英国的大部分博士都是3年项目。他们的博士就像faculty一样上下班。工作时间就在各自的Office里做研究。其实想想，这样的工作压力还是很大的。毕竟他们没有美国的那种Course可以作为初到国外的缓冲。不过意识到这种差异也让我了解了为什么这些国家都需要申请者提供Research Proposal。毕竟他们需要找的是veterans，而不是什么都不会的rookie。不过相比美国那种动辄五年到七八年的博士学制，这些国家的短学制则是非常有吸引力。但是考虑到那些在这些国家的水货Master在国内造成的影响，国人对此类学校的毕业生的印象恐会打折。

当然，这些学校跟美国相比，也有很大的局限性。那就是funding的严重不足。以英国和澳大利亚为例，这些国家都是“教育产业化”的楷模。他们即使有funding，也会优先提供给自己人，比如澳洲提供给Citizen和PR，而英国则是给EU的学生。更多的，他们会对外国学生claim非常高的额外学费。这估计也是个产业化的特色吧。不过说实话，就我个人的理解而言，这种自我封闭恐怕对研究水平的发展是很不利的。在这点上，New Zealand首先给出了移民和学生的优惠政策来吸引高级人才。毕竟，不说别的国家，就说中国，澳洲和新西兰都快成了高考垃圾的摇篮了。

无疑，申请这些学校是个体力活。整天转悠BBS和浏览学校的网页实在是个辛苦工作。为此，我不打算继续申请了。还是准备国内的考试比较靠谱。尽管说无论经费、设施、办公室条件、行政效率等方面，国内学校跟人家差距太大。但是毕竟轻松得多啊。人生苦短，何必搞得如此劳命？伤财就算了，毕竟我现在是跟红苗正的无产阶级，实则无财可伤也。

A Special Birthday: Academia and Entertainment

估计傻瓜都知道工作是工作，娱乐是娱乐，两者不可混为一谈。否则会一事无成。但是呢，在今年的圣诞节，也就是本人的生日之日，这两者却似乎找到了一个不错的交点。在这美妙的一天里，我同时完成了学术任务和娱乐任务。可谓工作与生活兼顾。不过说实话，我也累得够呛。这个故事还得从三天前的一个电话说起。那天晚上，哥们正在忙着拜读新买的《四书集注》，正在为《大学》开篇中的“齐家治国天下平”而激动不已，心情澎湃，却忽然接到研究生部的通知说要参加今天的第二届会计学院研究生学术研究研讨会，并作大会报告。一开始也没有觉得什么，毕竟咱也是久经沙场的人嘛。但是师弟的下半句却让我心慌了很久。因为他告诉我，我的报告被夹在了两位学术牛人之间，更何况，其中有一位还是在下的恩师。这下好了，关公面前耍大刀了。但是呢，我们是社会主义一块砖啊，哪里需要放哪里。于是，在下只有恭敬不如从命。

所谓喝水都能噎死人，阴沟里照样翻船理论，同时援引本人的一贯遭遇，此次演讲注定不会那么顺利。事实再一次验证了统计学的重要性。先不说我只有两天时间来准备PPT和讲稿，光演讲时候的PPT自动往前跑就让我非常郁闷，以至于我今天毫无演讲的性质和激情。脑子里的那些理论，假设都被抛开了。更多的，我一边在讲，一般在小心防备着我的PPT自动往前走（刚测试发现，这可能是03和07的不兼容性的一个Bug，出现于某些特定情况）。同时，这个报告也说明了一个问题，永远不要用中文去报告自己用英文写的论文。那过程绝对是自虐。今天我不得不一边看着PPT，一边把脑子里的英文换成中文再说出来。于是开始了舌头打结，语无伦次。好在，这不是太高级的会议。不过我那敬爱的老板的表情还是让我着实来了一身冷汗。哎，太年轻啊，定力不行。

下午跟着同门好友跑到西苑唱歌去了。你别说，KTV还真是个发泄的好东西。尽管这种事情多少有点损人利己。在给被人带来了极其恐怖的噪音之后，自身的感觉会变得非常轻松。同时，我也跑回去领了个奖。在唐院长最后宣布我名字的时候，那感觉还是非常爽的。上台领奖时候还是很兴奋的。难怪那些影星影帝会在颁奖典礼上语无伦次的感谢什么CCTV，MTV之类的。哎，看来如此感谢，如此言语也都是非条件反射啊。

晚上在南苑吃的，建霞弄来了一个漂亮的蛋糕。如果说蛋糕本身没什么，关键在于情意之类的话，那恐怕有点假。毕竟我还是个好吃的主儿。不过跟同门的师兄师妹们一起过生日的感觉真是不错的，温馨而充实。加上我的4+1（此为张院长原创，4为四位学术牛人，1为在下），我真是在生日这一天找到了学术和娱乐的完美结合点。但是，我绝对不认为这是个帕贝托改进，因为，我实在是太累了。

其实坦言，学术研究的确是需要激励的。我很羡慕学术班的人有如此好的条件。但是呢，也为大多数人的身在福中不知福而感到可惜。当然，人各有志，学术也不是唯一出路。正如我以前所言，在这里，我们选择的学术道路可能是曲折的，甚至是郁闷的，在这样的环境下能够坚持下来是要点道行的。所幸，本人遇到了很好的老板，也得到了比较多的激励。在这些激励下，我现在的成果其实还是比较悲惨的。之所以要感谢老板，原因很简单。有句老话“师父领进门，修行在个人”。但是问题是，如果没有师父领进门，您老难道还打算在门外修行不成？当然，释迦摩尼在菩提树下得道。可是，我们皆凡人。

原本以为今年一年都不会有学术会议上的记录，没想到今天却填上了这一空白。尽管这会级别不高，收益却不低啊。

Goodbye! North America and My American Dream!

Quite a long time I denied all the requests from my heart of writing a post in English, the reason can be quite simple. The failure on GRE directly abandoned me the American dream; what’s more, it deeply hurts my passion to my future life in years. In the past days, weeks and months, again and again, I have tried to imagine my life, a big house, a tenured position. But now, everything is gone. And, my purpose of learning this language has become invalid as well. Even till now, I don’t think the English can be useful for my graduate study in China, since most PhD candidates in the major of accounting are without good competence of foreign language, and such faults are also retained by most professors as well. in contrary, such competence may cause envy from colleague sometimes.

I can hardly remember when I devote myself to the study of this language. I admit that I never met the top level, since I never entered a top primary school, middle school, college, and the graduate school. But undoubtedly the American dream works. During the high school, I started to read some English newspapers, listening to the VOA News, and to chat with my English teachers and friends in English. Obviously such activities help me build a solid foundation, which is still beneficial today. (Just imagine how many students are still fighting for oral and listening sections).

The failure of the college entrance directly abandoned my improvement of English. The teachers for students of the technical school are that poor, that the memory of the English courses at that time is only the tricks, like the faults of the pronunciation, verbal and grammars from the teacher. And CET-4 and 6 are passed respectively, though the scores were not very high, but identical to my competence. Frankly, there is little improvement on my English during the four year study in college.

A great improvement of English competence comes to me when I entered the graduate school. For the research purpose, I have to read many papers from top journals written English. Obviously, good competence on reading formed since high school brings me great benefit. Even till today, I am still quite pride that very few graduate students around can take a faster speed than my reading. (A younger student used to acknowledge her greater amount of reading, while after some talking; it is found she only read the abstract and conclusion). And what’s more, the failure of GRE can not only mean failure, in fact, I learned how to write in a formal way. Without such training, I don’t think I can write an English paper and present in Hawaii.

Anyway, the GRE is failed, and my American dream is breaking down. With the concern of my willing to be a research, professor or so, PhD is an optimized choice still, since its honored acceptance here in China. I will fight for some top universities in China, no other school will be considered since its limitation on marketplace. I don’t want to be a loser when graduated in three or four years.

Thanks for my brother; it is your help and encouragement that bring me confidence and broadened horizon;

Thanks for my parents; it is your help and support on my feeding up that I have the opportunity to make these attempts, though they are not successful;

Thanks for my uncle and aunt; it is your kind suggestion that prevent me from making wrong decisions;

Thanks for my uncle Yang yang, to be specific; you give me too much, courage, confidence, horizon and the meaning of a human being;

And thanks for Mr. Zhou and Ms. Luo; it is your encouragement during my early stages that I can obtain all these capabilities;

As a final, thanks for Peng and my present professor, though we have only a connection for less than three years, your determination and encouragement help I learn to be a rookie researcher. I am convinced what you taught me can be beneficial when doing independent research in future.

Graduate Students in China: Depression Only

摘要：如果说人生是一场戏，那么在天朝上研究生将会是您人生重要的一课。本文以经济学基础理论为理论依据，通过非现实，调侃等非正常逻辑思维和手法展现了我天朝研究生生活之特色。本文发现，同发达国家，以及大多数新兴市场的研究生生活相比，我们的生活充满了更多的激情与刺激，同时也需要更多的博弈过程。限于篇幅，本文仅抛砖，并未提供严格数理分析以及福利分析。此等可作后续研究之方向。

或许我就是一个后知后觉的人，以至于到了研究生快毕业的时候才对研究生生活，尤其是中国研究生的悲哀，有了一次初步的了解。话说，做学术的人需要淡泊名利，更需要有那种执着到犯傻的地步。现在我懂了。因为在你能够真正的看破红尘之前，想做很好的研究真是难上加难。高水平研究本身已经对人的智商和体能是一个严峻的考验，但是要做到完全抗干扰，却是万万难以办到的。在这里，我们终于知道了一般均衡严格假设在现实条件下的苍白无力，也知道了Nash教授几十年前那薄薄的几张纸的毕业论文所包含的能量。

在转型经济和新兴市场中，监管往往是非常薄弱的，而薄弱的监管往往会带来一大堆的问题，比如人性的丑恶可以极大的得到发挥。因为在这个环境里，具有强制性的法律对过度的行为并没有约束力，而基于人性最本质判断的道德标准则可能由于人文素质等原因而趋于消逝。这其实是一种很危险的状态，因为秩序已经不再存在，任何人都可以做本性的决策。而亚洲教授，无论是在北美，欧洲，大洋洲还是亚洲本身，口碑都不是很好，或许就是基于这样一种制度背景吧。难怪某BBS上有位哥们说，在亚洲出生不是我们的错，但是在亚洲上学那就真是我们自己的不对了。但是在预算约束下，这种行为无疑成为了“被次优化”的一个结果。

作为转型经济的一个特例，我们伟大的天朝，则是更是发扬了这种曲折不挠的精神。基于人民是XX主人的原则，研究生们也就理所当然的成了学校和自己的主人。在亚洲其他地区的那种高额奖学金加补助来招纳Push对象的资本主义策略是我们所不耻的。更多的，我们是自觉的新新人类。我们自己支付自己的学费，然后感激涕淋的领到了10%的回扣，我们享受着1.3-1.5倍的平均物价和房租，享受着农民工般的待遇。更有甚者，著名的投入产出模型在此也失去了诺贝尔奖的光辉，因为这个模型实在无法解释在产出几乎为0的情况下，却有着高额货币资本和劳动力资本的双重投入。此种状况，想必凯恩斯教授从坟墓里爬出来都没法解释啊。算了，还是去求脚下马克思教授和恩格斯专家吧，或许资本论的第四卷题目可以是：Higher Education in Socialism: Asymmetric Role on Input and Output

这里还是个博弈论的试验场。博弈论的精髓“根据对方的策略来决定自己的策略”得到了完美的诠释，贝叶斯均衡在这里有着完美的用武之地，因为你发现先念概率永远是笑话。想考博士么？来吧，我们绝对“以人为本”。怎么说？你有丰富的科研经历？你有很好的外语基础？哈哈，对不起，亲爱的，以”人”为本说的可不是你，是你的推荐人。没有推荐人？你以为你是商鞅？没人推荐，恐怕您的一身武艺只能自己拿个DV拍下来看着玩了。再说了，就算是商鞅，他老人家还不是照样被完美分解了。同样，这里也需要转型经济理论来说事儿。在转型经济下，（省略若干字），Relationship可是最重要的，跟美国教授拿着自己的声誉去推荐人是两码事儿。要知道，我们是礼仪之邦，我们讲究礼尚往来，同时要求迎来送往。

不过既然是转型经济，那就不是个均衡状态，就会有发生转变的时候。事实也如此，在某些经济和人文素质已经发展到了一定水平的某些区域，此类单纯的犯傻行为已经得到了逐步的纠正。Output已经不再是0，货币资本终于开始由方程的一方挪到了另一方。严重倾斜的天平慢慢开始平躺。但是新问题也来了。基于这些地区特殊的治理结构，这些地区中的学校开始了蜜月期。什么叫做蜜月期？非诚勿扰！

谨以此文献给同在一条战壕里的兄弟姐妹们！

注：对阅读此文深感困惑的朋友们而言，尝试一下研究生生活将有助于促进您对本文的理解。

声明：此文系头脑发热胡思乱想基于非理性思维所作，仅供饭后消遣，持不同观点者请绕道。