Preface: This is a promised ‘assignment’ for my girlfriend to celebrate our first formally celebrated Valentine’s Day. You would feel rather surprised on why it likes this, it is indeed the question of mine. I would apologize for my silly performance here since I really don’t know how to write a poem-like post in English. Thanks Wendy for this excellent suggestion though I would have to face great challenge for this:)
For quite a long period I did not write anything for this blog, until recently I posted an article as a general farewell to my past three years. Anyway, a particular review for myself is under consideration and is expected to be published in weeks, i don’t want to talk about that in this mid night, especially when accompanying with the thunder and raining outside.
Writing in Midnight: A Picture of My Past Life
It has, also, though not fully calculated, been quite long that I did not write anything in such mid night when I can fully enjoy the silence, a good environment for random thinking and free writing. For years, I am getting accustomed to the life of running programs and writing academic papers with such silence. However, at present at least, I won’t have to abuse myself in this way. To say something like abusing is quite ordinary, for anyone who are experienced in research, running some programs with statistical packages can never be a pleasant life!
Greetings from Friends: Boring but Warming
It is now hard to be reminded of, rather it is telling the truth that, you pay what you want to earn, and you lead a life that is consistent to your dream. I don’t know if this principle works for me. Under most understandings, being admitted to a school in UK with fully funded offer can be regarded as great honor. However, can that really be the case? I smiled again and again these days, I tell this ‘good news’ again and again, and I explained what the funded offer like from minute to minute. In fact, doing a duplicating job is really too boring to bear! For many days, I even cannot help writing a post that explains all these questions, just like what I did some months ago for questions on empirical research.
Anyway, I am quite delighted and somewhat pleasant with such king of duplication. Receiving numerous congratulations can also be explained as good personal connections. Without these good friends, i can hardly imagine how my life would be. They do offer me good mental support. I don’t know if it is my lucky or somewhat innocence, I do meet so many kind people from one school to another. It is too seldom that I would have to face the potential rules directly.
Romance on Campus: Unsuccessful but Deserved
Another reason that made me feel somewhat disappointed, besides the friends, is the romance. Though I never make that to the public, it is known to many friends. Enjoying the romance is really a necessary step of college life. I hate I experienced that too late, later than 3 years comparing to the average level of my age. Admittedly, such experience, no matter whether it is a good news or not, made me understood quite a lot of questions about human beings, which, in fact, can hardly be find from any book.
PS: The raining is getting even more heavily, well, it’s time for a sleep. Goodbye, my readers!
It is in fact quite curious, that I have not made my tears dropped since the failure of my college entrance exams. Obviously, the failure that time is dramatically beating to me, that I can even not forget the ache in my heart when hearing the score and ranking from the telephone. It was quite a harsh time, that I was deeply, without any exceptions, dropped into the trap of depression. There were only thunder and storm, but not the sunshine and gentle wind in heart.
What is the greatest depression?
For many days I have been asserted of fully experienced on bad days. I didn’t feel much disappointed when I had to give up my hope of applying for the graduate school of Rennin University of China, I also feel okay when I was suffering from the beating of the GRE performance, and thus I would have to, again, drop my hope of studying in US. And even when I heard about the death of my grandma, who brought me up during the whole childhood, I recovered myself in two weeks. However, I don’t know for how many days I would make myself recovered this time.
In my friends’ eyes, I am, without any doubt, an ambitious man, who is willing to devote himself to the ideal world. It is in fact hard to tell, whether the determination is doing its good in my life, even though it is fully encouraged by different levels of educations, ranging from kindergarten to PhD program. Admittedly, determination can teach you quite a lot. With its help, you can learn more, read more and publish more as well as better off. However, over devoting in a specific work, a direct definition of determination, can also ask for your payment. What would you pay for that? It is, under most occasions, love!
Can nature be contradicted?
Young man, if you are considering of rejecting a piece of love, and meanwhile, you are lucky enough reading this post, I would try to persuade you of accepting it. Rejecting such staff can be much more difficult than anything else, especially when it contradicts your psychological indication. I started to think about taking my PhD study overseas from the second year, when participating my first-time international conference and talked to some faculties there, though at that time, I was still quite unaware of what I was willing to do and what I was interested in. I am always quite a man that considers reality as fully prioritized, and never believe in romance. For me, any romance that was built on the assumption that one party is willing to go overseas can be tricky and thus lead to unpleasant consequence. It is this good belief, though I cannot tell whether it is good or not indeed, helped me delayed the love.
But things are always holding the preference of contradiction. Just count how many unexpected issues has you been come across? Tens? Hundreds? Or even more? Though rejection is apparently a preferred answer following my logics that I discussed above, it failed on the determination from the other party. It is the first time that I learned that as an ordinary man, I should never expect controlling too much. Being over confident on your controlling, under some occasions, can cause disaster. If I would be able to make a new choice for all these I have experienced, I would give it up. Taking it can, undoubtedly, bring you good feeling for those honey days. It can, however, make you good depression when reaching its end of life.
Saying Goodbye
Saying goodbye with tears, the topic of this article, indicates the ending of this experience, that used to bring me days with sunshine, is now sounds like thunder and storm. Establish any promise in this period, though seems pleasant, is actually meaningless. For people that you are, or used to love, pray for her honey in future. Staying together or not, comparing to this fundamental assumption, is far less concrete.
So guess the hidden head for this post? Well, you are quite right. It is not a post for you, but for someone else. Any other hidden head? Yeah, you are quite patient and cautious. This paper is written by a man whose native language is not English!
It can hardly be denied that romance is a strange thing. Unlike the regular events that can easily be controlled in certain routines, the romance can hardly be controlled rationally. More likely, the development of the process for a couple falling in love seems to be a random walk, no matter you are originally determined or not. One may not be able to fully understand this unless you own the experience. It is a kind of experience that involves true loving, demands and even sex, any tiny error made in such process can mean influencing consequence in future. And, under most occasions, it is highly related to the career, another key aspect of human lives.
Loving stories can be easily found in some journals and newspaper when you pick up one randomly in a school library. The stories are frequently similar though figures in the stories vary. The conflict between the career and the romance is typically a permanent topic. For comedy, the couples get recognized occasionally and work together for future, like housing, business, etc. The ending of such story is always quite pleasant and sometimes romantic, that both romance and career are of harvest. While for such topics, tragedy is more common to see. Such story often starts from a couple being like peas and carrots, and then face a single choice for romance and career. Then difference value concept between the man and ladies are exhibited: career is often preferred by the men and romance by the ladies.
In fact, the latter style of choice is more common to see, which is regarded as reconciling. For any parties that are participated in a game called romance, you can hardly expect great outcome without sufficient income, which, in this game, is regarded as a sacrifice in either romance or career. Unlike many other choices that the alternative choice can easily be explained for deny, this choice is a puzzle, because preference to any party in this choice for romance/career are both adequately rational. For preference on romance, it is comprehensive, since the pleasant experience rendered from this can hardly be substituted, and meanwhile, it is a necessarily preliminary step for coming marriage, which is of great demands for majority. In other hand, preference on career is also a wise choice. Career can mean individual success in numerous realms of life, like great profit from running a business, obtaining a demanded position etc. Considering the traditional responsibility for a man that should support the whole families, including the parents, wife and offspring, the success on career is one of the most effective resolution for such purpose. That’s why majority of men are holding their preference towards the career.
Such choice can be more difficult for graduates, no matter you are graduating from a college or graduate school. Difference on cities that a couple works and residents can directly lead to failure of their romance. Comparing to the virtual basis on their romance, which is typical nominated as love, the survival is more essential. The romance can only come into practice when the survival is not a question anymore, which is regarded as grounded. Never try to believe in your determination. Such determination is only valid when the environmental settings are unchanged, which is and is only an assumption. Under most occasions, we have taking too much time and energy to fit for such changes, thus career and romance can hardly be taken into account simultaneously.
And making such decision is not an easy job. A preliminary and necessary step for a decision-maker is to think over. Such rule is consistent to the choice on career and romance as well. For a person who is of great preference on career, his/her romance would be regarded as a kind of sacrifice, or say opportunity cost in economic terms, or vice versa. To make it, everyone must be aware of his advantages and disadvantages, which kind of living they are willing to lead to, and basically, a full perspective of the near future.
I don’t know who such choice would be like in a US setting, but the framework for both understanding and interpreting in this post is of Asia styles. Wise and correct choices are typically regarded as precious, especially one of such importance that fully decides his/her future life. An optimized contract for both career and romance would be fully appreciated. But meanwhile, whether such solution exists is still under questions!
It can hardly be denied that romance is a strange thing. Unlike the regular events that can easily be controlled in certain routines, the romance can hardly be controlled rationally. More likely, the development of the process for a couple falling in love seems to be a random walk, no matter you are originally determined or not. One may not be able to fully understand this unless you own the experience. It is a kind of experience that involves true loving, demands and even sex, any tiny error made in such process can mean influencing consequence in future. And, under most occasions, it is highly related to the career, another key aspect of human lives.